to blog or not to blog....that's what she said

to blog or not to blog.....whew...that is where i've been lately. i'm in blogging limbo. i am somewhere between the need to fuel the creativity and the need to pay more attention to life without documenting every encounter. if i was paid to blog, i'd be fired. i'm also wondering where i am on the spectrum of blogging. i think of blogging as an activity for young moms under the age of 30....their children under the age of 5......not yet disappointed and jaded by heartbreak from their spouse or teen....not yet pulled down by the weight of menopause and the learning curve of an older demographic. i wonder why i can't believe in the power of the perfect blog.....kids dressed in clothing that never gets dirty....parties that dictate the perfect hand crafted accoutrement with singing, happy kids that play perfectly with their handmade toys....pleasing and inspiring their parents. how many have i offended just now? my intention is not to offend, but to compare.
i wonder what is wrong with me......lately overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood and feeling uninspired and too busy to grab a camera to document the frustration and hard work it takes to do it. maybe i'm just not doing it right, but i have had almost no time to hand make anything for the kids....no time to make any dresses or little stuffed toys....no time or will to host parties or make daisy chains. instead, i'm hanging by a thread trying to get my 5th grader out of school with passing grades and an introduction to puberty. instead, i'm hanging by a thread trying to direct 2 kids to clean their rooms, stop fighting, help me with laundry, stop fighting, stop screaming demands of i need this and that all day. i'm trying to inspire them to play outside in this crazy heat just to get out of the house for a while. i'm trying to keep them home and busy because i don't have the money to buy them something everytime we leave the house. i'm trying to encourage them to do something besides play on the computer and watch tv....all the while i'm blogging??? it is a paradox. i'm older than they are and i'm the mom so i get to blog and they have to find something to do and be perfect while i indulge. to make a long story short....i'm just not that hip and inspired to blog a picture perfect day. lol!!!!!
i keep thinking that most of these young hipsters with AWESOME blogs are home during the day w/dad coming home at night to help out. i don't have that luxury. by the time 8 pm rolls around, i'm ready to go to bed. so for all that, i'm out of the blogging loop lately. all of the sudden, life just got really busy. is there anyone else out there over the age of 45 with young kids that feels like an outdated mom??? how do you keep yourself feeling hip and trendy...young and fresh...or do you embrace your age and go with the flow. anyway....that is kind of where i am in in the blogging spectrum lately. really my audience is anyone that loves to junk, create, eat and hangs by a thread to deal with life and do it all with a smile while dealing with hot flashes, middle age obstacles, lifes' ups and downs, and crazy chocolate cravings....
i am not going to stop blogging, but i have really, really slowed down. if blogging was a trip to the gym, i'd never get fit...lol
that said....
i have a very, very dear friend from college. she lives in georgia and i met her years ago....back when we were hip and trendy....no kids....no worries.....just free spirits going to art school together....painting one narrative painting after another....designing flyers....making lithographs.....throwing pots.......and hanging out with the hip, trendy drama students.....sitting on benches at college contemplating life, the power of good art and how we could keep our yankee accents living in the deeply accented southern charm. it was a really fun time. i miss my friend very, very, very much. her mother was a very accomplished seamstress, knitter, crochet fanatic and all around wonderful person. i feel lucky. my friend sent me a portion of her mother's dear crochet magazine collection, a large portion of her mother's handmade doilies and a copy of our most FAVORITE NOVEL!!!!!!!!!!!
SKINNY LEGS AND ALL..............the best tom robbins in my opinion for sure!!!! i love the personification of items in this book that travel with the mail characters. it is a brilliant read. thanks michele!!!!!! you made my day.

i'm still on a quest for lowering my cholesterol and saving money too. i love greek style yogurt, but it is expensive. i buy only a few when i shop and then i buy a large container of $2 nonfat yogurt and add that to smoothies and fruit. it is a great way to save money. i can buy fresh/frozen berries and fruit and add it to my yogurt and milk/juice and make smoothies for a cost of pre-made ones. i choose papaya for this week's exotic fruit choice. because of it's bitterness, i added yogurt, honey, and salted sunflower seeds. mmmm
another heart healthy, low cost salad is RICE SALAD.................
so good......white or brown rice and a dressing of olive oil, vinegar, curry, cumin, paprika, salt, pepper, poppy seeds, sugar and ginger....whisk together and add to rinsed rice. add walnuts, celery, onion, apples, cranberries, organic sesame seeds (black) and celery seeds. i used chopped, fresh mint on top and mmmmmmmm
eat 3 big piles and save room for a small chocolate bar.
books.....here are my favorites right now.......WOW....love these.
i can't stop reading them.....especially DECORATE. i love the mix of vintages in this book. such an escape when i need 10 minutes to myself....
i love the colors on these pages. i love the bright greens, aquas, pinks, fuchsias, blues, reds, yellows, greens.....lovely punches of colors that give a grown-up like me an excuse to decorate with whimsical cast offs.
the potholders in the above photo make me want to hit the thrift shop and seek immediate treasure digging. i love the pink walls, i love the glam wallpaper and those tea cup.....how very U.K. so awesome.

i managed to make a few pillow covers last week when zoey was sick and fell asleep earlier than her usual 10 pm. ugh.
i LOVE spray paint!!!! walmart had this color on sale for $2. this is my new favorite color. yum.
when i was in art school, a fellow friend and painter gave me this painting. I LOVE IT. i haven't had a place to display it for years. i finally pulled it out of a pile of art i still drag with us each time we move and placed it on a window ledge in our computer room. i want to put this in a big kitchen one day, but for now, it can live here so i can enjoy it. if you ever want really great art for your house, please remember that college students sell their works during their senior shows. it is great way to find original works for a good cost and cause.
a few pics from around the crib.
loving my cheap jewels from FOREVER 21.COM. awesome and cheap!!!!!!
$1 PRIM bench i picked up at a yard sale. i put a coat of briwax on it and it is waiting until i have room at my booth.
little birdie vignettes.....summer musings.....and cast off $6 painting i found a while back.

finally....the end of this post. i go on and on i know...blah, blah. thanks for stopping by. i need a glass of ice water after this post. thanks for stopping by......
lol